Hey guys! 

Boy oh boy! This year has already brought many changes for me. I continue to grow and get better and better and better!

This blog has become less about sex and more just about my life lol. Well my love life mostly. Or lack there of. 😅

But I think in this post I might open up a little.

I've been separated from my husband since 2022, living alone since 2023. I've had to learn to do ALOT of things for myself. This is actually my first time, aside from a college dorm, living alone. Which is wild to say in your 40s. I'm learning to be independent.

Well the divorce procedures have officially begun,  and I've gone from fear and despair to trust and optimism. What has fear ever really done for me? Nothing but hold me back. So I'm arguing my case for alimony. After a 20yr marriage I have a pretty strong case. And I'm just going into this mindful, aware, and prepared. And let the chips fall where they may. I just expect everything to work out for me. It always has. 😎

So I'm shifting from a mindset of lack and fear to appreciation and ambition. 

Oh I will be independent. And not only will I be able to make a living, I'm going to fucking THRIVE! And everyone who knew an older meeker version of me is gonna be surprised at what I am becoming. I am so driven to create a life on my terms and make a living by being myself. I'm super excited to focus on what I want,  and not worry about other shit. Doing life without a safety next is scary but I'm just convinced I can, not only handle what life throws at me,  but have an entirely new way of seeing life.  Bitch I pushed a whole baby out of my snootch with no pain killers. I can handle anything. 

With that said, I have decided to stop paying to host this blog. There's no real reason for it. Oh don't worry, I'm not gonna stop blogging. I've poured 3 years into this blog. It's my baby. However I will be leaving this website you're on now and putting everything up on blogspot. I don't need a custom domain for a blog 3 ppl see. lol. But until I get that up and running this site is staying active till June. At some point I'll change the link to blogspot and you won't have any changes on your end. Other than the layout being different.

I've invested the money into creating my own professional website for my Pro Domme stuff.  It's going to be the official place to find me, access my content, etc etc. I've already got the domain but I'm designing it myself which is going to take time bc my ADHD makes me get stuck on details and my creativity gets me stuck on perfectionism. But like my journey into the Domme world,  I'm sure my site will go throw evolutions and re-vamping. 

So yeah,  the wheels are in motion. I'm also working on content for sale and just my online presence as the Goddess. It's been so fun. Def the funnest thing I've ever done and the longest I've stayed working on something. April will be a year!!

I plan to continue to gain a following online. The ones who stick around are loyal followers. I'm a slow burn, which makes growth take longer for me. But that's ok. I know the ppl who want what I have will find me.

You know, a friend of mine once said "I can always make more money." And I always think about that. I don't want to live my life suppressing my joy and cutting back. I would much rather spend the money and have the experiences and just make more money. And that's what I plan to do! 😁 

I'm also planning on investing some of the money I get from the divorce. Make my money work for me. The cool part of getting to know so many Dommes is learning a lot about finances. 

Babe,  life is fucking great. Watch me shine. 

And with that, we'll talk later when I have something to talk about. 

k Luv you! bye! 👋😘

Yeah I know, it's a little early. 

But I saw something that hit me in the gut.

Valentines Day is a cursed holiday for me. I can't remember the last time I had a good one. I'm usually alone on Valentines Day. In 2023, I was talking to (and had slept with) some guy who very much did not care about me passed the length of his dick. in 2024 (before v-day)  I had just seen the last of Mr. Big. Also Feb 2024 is the last time I had sex. I don't count my ex with the tiny dick who fucked me in the summer. I've wiped that from my memory. In 2025 I was with someone I really liked and I thought Finally! The universe has smiled upon me, I get to feel special  and wanted for Valentines Day. Finally I'm not alone. But when I told him I wanted to be taken to a nice Valentines Day dinner he reacted poorly. He basically had a mini tantrum and went on a tirade about it being a stupid holiday because he's so anti everything. I think it was because he didn't feel THAT way about me so he didn't want to pretend. I didn't want him to get down on one knee and sing to me. I just wanted a nice dinner just to have that feeling of being something to someone on valentines day. Even if it wasn't necessarily romantic. I started to cry. My one time I was sure it would happen he made a stink. I had never cried in front of him before. I don't like to cry in front of ppl but that was just too much. He quickly apologized and said he would do it. 

But that was the last time I saw him. I never did get that dinner. I got a break up email though. So that's cool.

And I'm right on track to be alone again this Valentine's Day. That's whatever. 

But even before ending my marriage, Valentines day sucked. My ex husband was NOT romantic at all. He was logical and practical. He never gave me a gift I didn't ask for explicitly. Jesus fucking Christ, I had to direct him for everything. He just wasn't thoughtful in that way. Acts of service, that's his love language. So, paying the bills, that's how he showed love. I spent 20yrs in a passionless marriage. The best thing about Valentines Day is that I would get a card where he would express his feelings towards me. I would (god this is so sad in retrospect), I would get so excited and read the card really slow and squeal and kiss him, as if he had surprised me with tickets to Paris or something. It was just a card with  him expressing things he NEVER expressed outside of these cards. I would get 3 a year. Valentines day, our anniversary in March and mother's day. He never expressed his feelings. He was kind and gentle and often affectionate but no words. I never got compliments. 
Even when I got all dressed up. I used to tell myself well, he doesn't care that I'm all dressed up but he acts the same way when I'm in pajamas looking a mess. Neutral. If I could call that man anything, it would be that, neutral. So yes, I've been starved of romance for my entire adult life. 

I've always been the one who loves harder, bigger, more visibly. I love to make people feel special. Most people love to receive but they don't reciprocate. Which is probably bc I pick the wrong ppl. Note to self, stop fucking with Taurus men. 

But the whole reason for this post is bc I was on TikTok and someone was making a tutorial on how to make a cute valentines day basket using stuff from the dollar store. It came out super cute but I was like, lol, what guy would do this? The men I've been with would never put this much effort into anything. Then I went to the comments to see if other ppl shared my skepticism. Instead I found comments with pictures saying "this is the one my man made for me last valentines day" and it's next to this display of other romantic shit. Then another one, and another one. And I felt robbed. Men do this kind of thing? What is THAT like?? I thought men didn't like doing anything that required effort. Then again I also thought married ppl never kissed more than a peck, bc that was my experience. Jesus fucking Christ. I am very happy to not be in that marriage anymore. Although I'm sure he's doing the most for his new gf. 

So yes, I expect worship. I expect big public displays of worship. I want LOTS of verbal worship.  I expect grand gestures. I want everything. I deserve everything. Because I have spent my adult life giving and getting very little  in return. And now I will not settle for anything less than everything I deserve. 

I will never waste energy on a man who doesn't treat me like the gift that I am.