I’m sitting in the dark right now. There’s a big storm that blew through here…actually it didn’t seem big at all but it knocked out the power and its been out for hours. Today my son was supposed to sleep over but after the first 2 hours with no power he wanted to go back to his dad’s place so i threw on some crocs and didn’t bother to put on a bra and went out the door. I got him some food from the drive thru and dropped him off. 

On my way home I thought, man you know what would make me happy? Some of that mexican candy. Then I thought, i’m not wearing a bra. THEN i thought, fuck it. Who cares? I’ll just go to this QT and walk around with no bra, tits swinging,  and get my candy. Mind you i never go out in public without a bra. Its just tooo obvious. They hang. They’re heavy and they hang. Heavy pendulous breasts that swing and flap together with every step. With big nipples that you can clearly make out in this cream colored thin shirt.

I could feel them flopping around with every step i took and pretended as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. I acted like i would normally act. Confidently walking around semi exposed. Every man i passed looked. And I loved it. The slutty little exhibitionist in me was in heaven. Almost everyone in the was a guy. Except for one couple and a woman’s gaze feels totally different. It feels judgy AF.  :/ I walked around the entire place looking for that fucking candy and it wasn’t there!! Ugh. so i left. And i was like…..i just showed up, walked around with my tits swinging, walked the entire store to make sure everyone saw me, then left? Almost feels like something you’d do on a dare. I dunno don’t guys sometimes wear sweatpants and let their big juicy dicks hang for people to notice? Ugh i love that shit. Bring me all the big  juicy dicks in sweatpants. I mean seriously though. To all those men with big hanging dicks who wear sweatpants, i solute you. This is where emojis would really come in handy. 

Anyway that was my fun thrilling thing i did today :) and it was indeed a rush!

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I've had so many men tell me, as if to warn me, that they have a high sex drive. Right up top. Before we even meet. Can't tell you how many times I've heard this. And it's like yeah, no duh, you're a guy. 

In my marriage I never wanted sex. I thought I was defective. That did a number on my self worth. However since I've been out having sex with other people I have discovered that I LOVE sex. I LOVE cock. 

However I move extremely slow with men. For various reasons. One being I'm demisexual and I need an emotional connection. That means getting to know someone on a deeper level. And to be able to talk about more than just sex.  Another being that I have to vett these guys. Men will lie and say whatever it takes to get a woman to let down her guard. But they can only keep that shit up for so long.  The process takes longer with some than others. With Mr. Big things went really fast bc he was so genuine from the beginning. He wasn't trying to trick me or manipulate me. He was just himself and we were able to have thought provoking conversations. I never felt like I had to walk on eggshells with him. In fact the opposite, I was a hard ass from the get go, laying down rules and he was happy to oblige. It's honestly the first real consistent fwb I've ever had. He's kind and I feel like he cares about me and appreciates me. He's told me as such. And I care about him as well. He's just a really good guy. Wish I could find more like him. Because my only complaint is that I'm not getting his cock often enough. 

Like UGHHHHHHH.....I need it like....once a week. I feel like...that would be...balanced right? You do your thing, I do mine, but dick me down once a week and I'll be a happy girl. Or maybe twice a week?

It got me to thinking, do I have a high sex drive? It's definitely higher than it ever was before. Maybe I'm at my sexual peak. When I spontaneously drove out to Chatenooga to spend the weekend with a guy I met on Bumble last summer, I remember being sexually available to him anytime his dick got hard. I was just ready to go. It was fun. :)

I think if a guy knows how to turn me on mentally he's fucking got me. The mental is soooooooo important!!! I can't get wet from just the physical. But the mental will make me wet every single time. But fuck man, all these guys online wanna do is talk. They're all talk!!!! This is why I don't entertain it. Meet me. Then we'll talk. I'm less about talking about it and more about doing it.

He told me that most girls talk a big game but in person they act differently. Which I get. But i'm that girl in person. Only because I knew I could trust him and I was able to let down my guard and show him a side of me that very few men have ever gotten to experience. I like that version of me. She's fun as fuck. She knows how to have a good time. And she looooooves to fuck. I want to explore her more. But ughhhhhhhh I feel crazy being the one begging for someone to come over and fuck me already. There's so much to explore. Going 2-3 weeks in between sex is really frustrating. I've gotten a taste for it and now I want more more more!!!

It's the one app left on my phone where I interact with men. Something that I always end up regretting. So every so often I have to delete it off my phone and do a mental detox. 

Right now I have to focus on me, my kid, and my projects. And I have plenty of entries coming on here. 

Should you find yourself in the unique position to have my attention, you'd be an absolute fool to lose it. You drop the ball, you lose your turn. 

It came in the mail! :) It looks wild. lol. but the lace somehow makes it less menacing. I tried it on. It's tight! I ordered a medium because my head is small for my body. But I see now that this probably teeny skinny woman in Poland who made this probably has a different scale for small head. It's tight but it does the job. Honestly it looks very dirty when the mouth and tongue are basically all you see. very dirty. oof. I foresee things getting very kinky with this. Taking into account Mr. Big's penchant for getting primal and dominant with me and me turning into a brain dead submissive slut with him. 

I may order another one in a larger size in the future so i can be more comfy but I am excited to try it out. I suspect this will lead to some good content. The exhibitionist in me wants to share all the content we make. But I have to be cautious with what I share publicly. But.......we'll see. I think I may have to show you something.