I'm taking things slow with my bf. He's number 1 on the roster. My star player and the only one who's not replaceable. We've only had sex once so far. I like the build up. And because its an emotional and real relationship I don't want to rush it. But we have been talking about stuff and our kinks seem to line up. He's my dominant daddy. He treats me like a little baby princess and in turn I get to be his precious little thing and really lean into all my  "little" tendencies with him and he loves it. Which is like a DREAM COME TRUE for me! 

But another hot thing is that we seem to really be turned on by the same things. He loves my breasts and loves to worship them. In fact he loves my entire body and tells me all the time how beautiful and sexy I am. Which I love. But he also brings out the sub in me. We both find the idea of hucow so fucking hot. He wants to tie me down and have me hooked up to a milking machine and just fuck me and breed me.🥵️ In fact he's even looked into milking machines for me. 🥵️🥵️

He told me yesterday that he wants to lay me on the bed with my head hanging off and fuck my throat🥴️🥴️🥴️ "yes sir". He's such a perfect combination of sweet and loving and gentle outside of the bedroom and then raawwwrrr assertive and aggressive inside the bedroom. 

I will share some stories when we really get into it. hee hee 😊

Let's talk about lies of omission:
​
Dealing with men for the last 2yrs I’ve had to deal with this ALOT. Men love to NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS. And as a recovering ppl pleaser I used to let them get away with it and not call them out. My lord the amount of bullshit I put up with and just let slide. All as to not ruffle their feathers. All for extremely mediocre men. and why? Because as women we are basically programmed to be pleasing to men. To make them like us. Whether for romantic reasons or for safety reasons. Be likeable. Be agreeable. Don’t make waves. And DON’T make them uncomfortable. As a woman that’s one of the worst things you can do to a man, make him uncomfortable. It could become a safety issue. No, we can handle a lot more than they can. So we make ourselves uncomfortable for their sake. 


But I’m done with that. I have found a new sick pleasure in making men uncomfortable. If I ask a question and a guy does that typical thing where they dance around it and don’t give me a straight answer I will call him out. “You didn’t answer my question”. Then they do a little tap dance and try to be coy. At this point, they’re hiding some shit and it’s very obvious. Catch them in that shit. They deserve to be caught. Babe I am not the one. Not the one, the two or the three. That behavior will not fly with me. Not anymore. And if you THINK you’re pulling one over on me, honey, I’m just biding my time. I’m observing. I’m letting you play out your little fantasy, waiting for the best time to expose you. 


If I ask for verification and you make any kind of excuse,  I already know what I need to know. I’m a lot smarter and more observant than you realize. I pay very close attention. And I make men jump through hoops. And the ones who willingly jump through them are my favorites. The rest I don’t waste my time with. 


And if your answers are vague I will ask you again. I’m calling out the liars and the fakes. You deserve to get caught. You deserve to feel as uncomfortable as possible. Men cannot handle emotional discomfort. Physical? Sure. Any day. But emotional?!! Soooo weak. Which is why men ghost. Delete. Block. Because they’re too weak to stand in their discomfort and just be honest and own that shit. The worst ones are the gaslighters. When they get called out they try to spin it to make us think we’re being unreasonable or overreacting. They act confused. Oh classic male behavior. So confused, where is this coming from? In that case let me pull out my receipts here and give you a proper audit. Then you can try to explain yourself. 

And on that note.....

​I've been doing a lot of growing lately. I've become a stronger person and I like this version of me. I've been saying no more. I'm very direct. If someone isn't what I'm looking for, I pass. And this is huge. I used to feel like I owed something to anyone who gave me attention. Like I should be grateful for it. That's some old outdated bullshit. Even guys who are attractive and interested I've turned down. Hot guy, dick not big enough, sorry. Hot guy, hot body, huge dick, weird energy? Sorry, this was a hard one, but no I don't like your energy. Attractive guy, good size dick, no chemistry? I'm sorry, it's not gonna work for me. Hot guy but married? Sorry can't do it. I try to be kind each time of course. I find that my directness kind of commands respect from these men. And my courteous nature lends itself to respectful interactions. Which has been great. 

I guess because this isn't something I NEED, just something I want I can be picky and also patient. I'd rather go without and wait for the right guy than jump into something with someone that doesn't feel right from the beginning. I've also been better at cutting off things that aren't serving me. If there's no end game there's no point in using my energy on someone. 

Saying no, politely disconnecting, this has been great for my healing. Good things have started happening for me since I tapped into my own power. Funny enough I find that men are drawn to it. It's been interesting to see the shift. I would love to find a cool guy to connect with that I can laugh with and have deep talks with and also have a physical  connection with. Then I can close ranks and just enjoy the roster. 

Would love to find a fuck buddy who wants to explore sexual things with me. Different kinks, sex parties, swinging situations, threesomes, etc. Someone open minded and who I feel comfortable exploring with. That would be awesome. 

I think in general men are drawn to confidence and a woman who knows what’s she wants. In my profile I’m very straightforward. Right to the point, I say what I want. I want a big dick boy to add to my roster. What I’m finding is the men down there seem to have more appreciation for bigger bodies. What I got a lot of in GA was guys who just wanted to fuck and saw me as a means to an end. What I saw down there was men who were excited about me and my body. And THAT is the energy I want. It really makes me want to travel the US and see where i get the best results. 


I also realized something else about me. In order for me to be wild and DTF out of town I need to be staying in my own place. A hotel room or an air bnb. It feels most anonymous. There’s nothing to lose. Fuck and get out. No one knows me here. No strings. Can’t to that staying at my parents house. So yeah, that’s a cock block. 

​If only I could get paid to blog about fucking my way around the US. (Later, other countries). I mean travel blogs exist right? This is kind of that. Hmm...stay tuned for that.