Sex after 40
You know what I miss?12/21/2023 Last night I went out to a bar in my hometown to see if it would be any different. It wasn’t. The only ppl there were ppl on dates or with friends and no one was picking up anyone. No one was talking to anyone that they didn’t come with. And this is the state of things these days. I don’t know how ppl are meeting each other.
Sitting there alone in my spaghetti strap little sundress I had time to observe the other couples. Seeing a guy come up to the bar to buy a glass of wine for his gf made think like awww. I miss that. I miss someone taking care of me bc they wanted to. Without a thought. Without question. Like of course babe whatever you want. I really miss being take out for a special dinner. Having someone splurge on a nice place to celebrate something. Because they thought I deserve it. Not because of anything I did to earn it but just because I am their prize and they want to spoil me. Part of that is me wanting something I never truly had. I’ve always been taken care of but….not treated like a prize. I do long for that. I’ll find it one day. A while back I shortly dated a guy who offered to take me clothes shopping and told me I could go into any store and pick anything. I thought that was so kind. I looked around but never got anything. I’m not that type of person really. But the gesture alone was so sweet. It’s nice to know if I really really wanted something he would remember and maybe gift it to me one day. Being single is mostly good. But it gets tiring doing things for myself. I feel like it’s more the gesture than anything. I wanna be the passenger princess. I wanna be taken out or fuck, pick me up some chicken nuggets and candy. My god, my hero 😍😍😍. It’s all about the gesture. The effort. Feeling special. I’m holding out for that naughty naughty subby baby12/13/2023 Last night I was texting my with my tried and true. I have been pulling back on sexual stuff with him and just in general. I haven't flirted with anyone in a while. But having a chance to re-connect made me feel better. Made me feel close to someone again. Then I guess I felt comfortable letting that wall down. I had been thinking about our sex. And how I never get tired of it and it always feels good. Mr. Big Cock never disappoints when it comes to his cock. The guy who helped me discover my size queen tendencies. Now, granted things had gotten a bit off balance with us, it became a little too much about his cock there for a while. And I started to feel like I was just there to fluff his ego and not to be seen as this sexual goddess of a woman that I am. But our last encounter went a long way to balance things out. Because it wasn't about his cock at all. It was all about me and my pleasure. And I enjoyed being in control. Something we will most definitely do again.
And we were flirting a bit over text. I initiated it. Then at night....I got in bed and laid on my side. My hanging tits smushed together and my nippes were right next to each other. This allowed me to graze against them with just one hang. And with every graze lightening bolts of pleasure shot up my spine. It's wild how something as simple as grazing your hand across my nipples can cause such intense pleasure. This pleasure began to build up and eventually flipped a switch in my head. I became absolutely feral. I wanted to be baaaaaaaaaaad. Very very bad. like....i have to watch what I say....type bad. I began to feel this intense urge to be used. Used like an object, like a receptacle. Milked like a cow. I felt like I was hypnotized and completely devoid of any thought that wasn't extremely taboo and sexual. I was in my subspace. Its such a fascinating thing to experience. Like, the fact that in every day life I want to be treated like a Queen and with respect and sweetness....but flip the switch and I want to be treated like an object and used for his pleasure. And what an intense desire, I was begging for it. When I'm in that space I see his cock like air i need to breathe. Its like my pacifier, and i want to suck it for comfort. And when he takes it away I whimper and gasp for it to be back in my mouth. When I'm in subspace I need his cum. I want him to pump it into every hole, cover my face, my body, my hair. Last night....in my trance....I told him...I need you to fill me up with your cum daddy. And he said the hottest thing...he said... I want you to suck your pacifier first, then I'll make your pussy nice and creamy okay? fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. the way he talked to me like I was a little girl but also instructing me to service him made my pussy gush. I told him I might already be carrying his baby. The thought of that normally would freak me out but in that moment...it seemed like the hottest thing ever. I just wanted to be an absolute whore. If he had instructed me to suck a strangers cock or let him fuck me, in that moment I would have. I'm telling you!!! subspace. it's WILD! I would have done anything he told me. [Luckily he knows my limits already]. I've roleplayed this fantasy before with someone else. Where he got off on whoring me out. And I got off on being used and also pleasing him. The fantasy is HOT. I think it would require some very serious aftercare though. Lots of praise, sweetness, cuddling, talking through it, etc. But it's a fun fantasy. And I trust him. This is a sex blog12/11/2023 This is a sex blog, but I'm not having sex! lol. I've actually tried to steer away from all the sexual stuff bc I feel like I've been leading with that and the only quality of men I'm getting is low effort emotionally unavailable perverts. Y'all were fun for a while but the "ho phase" is over now.
So what am I to do? I could either talk about my feelings, which I know none of you pervs care about. OR I could just stop posting for a long time. Kinda sucks bc I do love this blog. I did love interacting with people. Especially when they added something to the conversation. But....there's gotta be other shit you guys are capable of talking about. I am open to romance. I'm open to being taken on dates and wooed. But I'm no longer engaging in anything physical. Unless of course, I'm ovulating and I need to use someone to satisfy my needs. so maybe i'll pop in once a month. Who knows. This blog is mainly for me anyway. Maybe I'll post some crazy fantasies if they come up. But your girl has be staying inside and keeping to herself. End of an era.... My sexual bursts do tend to come in waves. I get way too sexual, I start to feel yucky about it, I start being good, I stay good for a long time, then I have the urge to let the beast out. I will say...this was a long one because I had 12yrs of being good. So I had a lot of making up to do. I spent a good 2yrs getting all that sexual energy out. I wish it could have been better spent. More lovers and less bullshit waste of time ppl. But I had my fun. I really don't know what happens now. Do I behave for a year and come back and do it again? Do I find some kind of balance where my sexuality never goes away and never feels the need to be super exposed? Will I ever fulfill my dream of fucking my way across Europe and writing a book about it??? Only time will tell. ovulating princess12/1/2023 ughh ovulation. On the one hand its a fun time where I'm extremely horny and just stay wet. I'm just always wet! It's that time when I waannnnnnnnttttt a guy to come over. It's when I'm most...adventurous (ie: making poor decisions). Blinded by my hormones. But on the other hand, when you're single and not talking to anyone it's rough. Sure my body wants attention. But more than that, my mind wants attention. My biggest sex organ. sighhhhhh......
I wanna do something scandalous. But I don't want to regret it later. So I just stay home with my hands down my pants all day. Jesus.....there's only so many times I can make myself cum. its so boring. I don't necessarily miss the sex. I miss the thrill. I miss the build up. I miss flirting. I miss someone excited to talk to me and missing me. God I miss that. I miss....smiling while texting. I miss the butterflies. I miss sweetness. I miss mushiness. I love being around a man. His shoulders. Like, ugh, men are so....hot. But they're the hottest when they're not trying to be. How can i scratch that itch???? I don't like faking the emotional stuff which is why I keep my guard up. I don't think I'm gonna find that for a while. Especially since I stopped entertaining bullshit guys who only want to get off. I've thought about hiring someone to massage me. Fuck I've ever considered a male escort. At least he could give me the boyfriend experience for a night. But let's face it, i'm not brave enough to do either of those things. When i have the money I will start getting a monthly massage somewhere though. something legit. Just to be touched. until I can find someone who's happy to just come over and watch movies with me and talk or go out to eat/have drinks with and then come back and play with my nipples till i cum. Then cuddle with me and say sweet things to me. hahaha. if only! oh and i was feeling spicy so I decided to do a little lingerie photoshoot. I won't post them all here. too scandalous. but i think I look so edible. just need to find someone who wants to eat me. haha mr. big would say i look breedable. Lady MWhat happens when you marry the 2nd guy you ever slept with and spend 20yrs thinking you just don't like sex? You get a divorce and realize just how sexual you actually are. Archives
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