Single again

Well we had a good run. June was magical. Thats all I can say. It reminded me that I don't want a real relationship. For now I just want the fantasy. Just the exciting part where anything could happen. Where there's just passion and excitement and build up. Where you're just sharing the best parts of yourself. Not interested in things getting real. I want to have fun. I was in the real thing way too long. Now i know better to stick to my guns and not give in to someone who thinks he wants a relationship. I need to be more firm and next time I will be. I learned my lesson. I'm here to have fun an enjoy each other and nothing more than that. 

once I got over the addiction of it all I began to think clearly. I still have my sub who i'm grateful for. We keep things real on the surface and just enjoy and appreciate each other and our time together. I'm still kind of holding out for a big dick boy to fuck me bc I have needs. But I wouldn't say I'm actively looking. Just that I'm open to it. I think the problem most men have is that they think it's all or nothing. If they don't want a relationship they act like they can't have any feelings at all and treat sex as a cheap transactional thing. They're cheating themselves. I still want a connection and when I'm with that person I want some feeling and caring and affection. I just know how to compartmentalize and keep communication just to the encounters we have. This way my focus and energy is not on that person when we're not together. And its been wonderful and I'd like to find more connections like that.

For now I'm focusing on ME. on what I like and what I want. Putting my pleasure, my comfort, my convenience, and my feelings above other ppl. Because I owe that to myself. And so far I am LOVING life. I see being single very differently now. I'm not looking for a man as a life raft. Or for validation. I'm open to making genuine deep connections and enjoying someone's company that's all. The rest I really have under control. I'm the best relationship I've ever had! Plus I'm working on new things.

Let me know if you would like an audio section of the blog. I'm working on some stuff.