Growth post

I've gotten to a point in my life and in my journey where I'm not shrinking down anymore. I am going to speak up. If something doesn't sit right with me I'm gonna say something. If I'm uncomfortable I'm gonna say something. If I sense you're not being genuine I'm going to say something. I used to be afraid to speak up and make someone mad. I have abandonment issues coupled with people pleasing.

Which is also why I found myself customizing myself for whomever I was talking to. Some guys are interested in me but they are very vocal about what they don't like. OR what they do. Which is totes fine. We're not gonna line up with everything. But I used to do that thing where I was afraid to express part of myself bc they wouldn't be attracted to that. But I'm no longer doing that. And I have to say it's a really great place to be! 

I love this blog. It's so liberating. Yeah it's entertaining to read but it's more so a place for me to express the thoughts I can't express to anyone else. I have layers. Layers and layers. And they don't all have to be for you. But I'm never again going to be afraid to say something due to fear of judgment. 

You want to know about me? Get in my head? It's all here in black and white. Take it or leave it. I won't apologize for my preferences or my fantasies or my values. Everyone has them. 

I'm trying to be more like this in real life as well. I used to hide being a sexual person. But I'm a grown woman. A single woman at that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with me being a sexual creature. And I'm going to own that.

In general I've gotten better at letting people leave. I used to put a perfect stranger's opinion of me above my own self! Now I'm at a place where I know my worth. I don't need anyone go complete me or validate me. I'm absolutely the prize and you'd be lucky to have me. So If speaking my truth makes you upset or uninterested then have a nice life. Growth! You're witnessing growth. :)

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