I got a plushie

I don't know why it took me so long. My kid is obsessed with them. It wasn't till I held one of his stuffed animals when I was feeling high anxiety and it lulled me to sleep that I realized the power of having something to hug. As a single (but extremely affectionate) woman I often long for someone's touch. Even a hug from a friend or family member. I'm pretty alone here. And while I like my independence, I am human and crave human contact. I decided the next best thing was getting a plushie of my own.

So I got her. She's adorable. She's a squishmallow and I think she's a strawberry shortcake. And I love having something to hold at night. Gosh who knew how much it would help? And now I've also noticed it feels good to let out all the sappy mushy lovey dovey things i miss saying to someone. I can't actually say those things to anyone. But to her, I can say the most over the top sappy mushy loving things and it feels good to be able to say that stuff again. Even if its just to a sqishmallow. And with her it's never "too much" or "over the top". It's really wild. I've had someone to love most of my adult life. It's strange not having that anymore.