Sex after 40
I'm discovering all sorts of things!11/15/2023 Since cutting men out of my life I’ve had time to focus on me and ask myself… How do I show up as my most authentic self? Body hair for example. I’ve always gone all the way smooth bc that’s what society taught me was the most attractive. And I’ve always kept things the way my potential partner preferred it. If he preferred smooth I went smooth. If he wanted me to grow it out, I would. But now that I’m without a partner and just enjoying myself I’ve began to see growth. And wonder hmm…what amount of body hair feels right for me? That’s something I’m having fun experimenting with. I don’t think I am for either extreme at the moment. I know I like smooth legs as a personal preference and I know I prefer some pubic hair. I feel like I’ve earned that one. Although, the pussy is pretty either way. Some hair feels sexier to me. On me anyway. Underarm hair? I have never grown that out. But I’m allowing myself to experience what that’s like just because! It’s incredible to have bodily autonomy. It’s fun to play around and see what ultimately feels most authentic to me. Another thing is how do I show up? How do I present myself? I’ve presented myself as all kinds of women. I've worn the aggressive woman hat. The coquettish girl hat. The nurturing one. The sexy one. The hyper sexual one. I even considered the toxic/mean one bc I heard some guys like that. But that’s just not me. The truth is there are men who are attracted to natural hippie types, men who are attracted to hyper feminine types, men who are attracted to girl next door types, men who are attracted to the feisty ones, the shy ones, the freaks, the nerdy girls. Bottom line is, whatever you are there are men who are attracted to that specific thing. So why am I jumping through hoops trying to figure it out? It’s time for me to sit with myself. Truly sit with myself. And see who I am when i’m not trying to get someone to like me. Who do I show up as in my every day life? And own that. Nurture that. Encourage it. Lean into it. Embody it fully. I owe it to myself, after 43 years, to figure out who I want to be. So that’s where I’m at. Figuring myself out. My likes, dislikes, preferences, etc. like even fun stuff like how do I wear my hair? Do I grow it? Cut it? Dye it again? Without a thought to what would be most attractive to men. Or if they can pull it. Or what style clothes do I wear that feel most authentic to me? Without worrying about looking hot or sexy or even "age approproate". It’s all very interesting! It’s like I’m tapping back into who I was as a kid. When I was unabashedly, authentically myself and never questioned it. It’s a beautiful journey. New discovery? Bra size. I recently purchased some new bras. As you can imagine mine get a lot of wear and tear from holding me up. I used to think I was a C cup. My boobs were bigger when I was heavier, but so was everything else. When I lost some weight I was tickled to see my boobs stayed. And they were actually sticking out more than my stomach! Thats why, I honestly never considered my boobs big until men started telling me so. I was always just big all over so we couldn't tell my proportions really. They didn't look big relative to the rest of me. Even my ex told me later after he started dating other women that he didn't realize how big my boobs were and that it wasn't the standard. I was never really told they were big. So anyway I'm kind of living for them now. haha. Anyway yeah I always thought I was a C. At some point I found myself buying D cup bras. So fine, I'm a D. But.....with these new ones being snug (not stretched out yet), and me scooping in that side boob, I'm thinking........I should probably go a cup bigger. Am I actually a DD????? I can't imagine myself fitting that whole cup. But I also remember not filling a D. Are my boobs growing?? Whats happening? Anyway I ordered some DD bras and I'm looking fwd to seeing how they fit! Isn't it wild the things we discover about ourselves when we actually pay attention? Here's me in a fresh 46 D. I had to look at the tag bc I thought I accidentally got a smaller size. Hard to tell from this angle but they're overflowing a bit in front and on the side. I'll have to take a pic with the bigger bras and see how it compares. Comments are closed.
Lady MWhat happens when you marry the 2nd guy you ever slept with and spend 20yrs thinking you just don't like sex? You get a divorce and realize just how sexual you actually are. Archives
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