sigh...another sex toy fail

I really wanted this to work. I mean it looks good right? women rave about it. The entire thing is waterproof. The "tongue" moved but also there's a setting for the part you insert to move back and forth inside you. Great. I would love all the movement WITHOUT the vibration. Jesus Christ its like a fucking jackhammer on the most sensitive spot on your body. WWHHYYYYYY???? Maybe I'm extra sensitive but its the subtle movements for me. I hate that every toy vibrates. Not only that but vibrates so fucking hard. At least allow me to lower the setting to a crawl. This thing doesn't even give me an option for a lower setting. All it has is settings to change the speed pattern which, newsflash, no woman needs. No woman has ever been like you know this feels nice but I wish there would be an SOS pattern to this. NO! we want constant motion! constant! that's it! Jesus fucking Christ, you can tell men designed these things. Why 15 speed pattern settings? why? Idiots. My fucking pussy hurts from this. And not in a good way.

I can't tell you how much money I've dropped on sex toys in the last year alone. Each time hoping I would find the one for me. Something that would mimic human contact. Nothing. When I was younger a vibrating egg was the thing. And it did work. But I don't know, these days I'm so sensitive. My clit, the skin around my clit, all sensitive. Which is why I don't even like fingers poking around in there.

Dildos, no matter how horny I get, are aaallllways disappointing. A rubber toy can never mimic a real cock for me. It's inferior to cock and I just can't enjoy it. It feels blah. There's nothing like a fully erect penis hot and throbbing....nothing. And my pussy knows the difference. And she'll spit out anything that doesn't meet her standards. 

When it comes to the clit I have searched my entire life looking for something that mimics a tongue. Soft and wet and moving back and forth. Every single one I've tried sucks. They're ALL just vibrators. The rose? Strong vibrator. The clit sucker? A vibrator that goes around your clit. It doesn't suck shit. Not that I want my clit sucked. I don't. I want it licked. Gently licked by a wet soft tongue like thing! ugh. I want my vulva to be treated like a giant swirly ice cream cone. Big flat licks that cover a lot of surface area to make sure that thing doesn't melt. No poking, no stabbing and certainly no vibration.

I have yet to find anything better than my fingers. My fingers never touch my clit. just the skin around it. 

As far as penetration, I've only found 2 toys I like. A curved gspot toy, it vibrates but i don't need that so I turn it off. It makes me squirt. The other is a rose quartz crystal wand. Feels like heavy glass. I don't do Any pounding with this one. Its very smooth and holds whatever temperature surrounds it. I leave it inside me while I play with my clit. The heft of it makes me feel full inside and i like that stuffed feeling.

But most of the time, its just my fingers. And they always get the job done. 

sigh.....will they ever invent a realistic non vibrating tongue toy??