You know what I miss?

Last night I went out to a bar in my hometown to see if it would be any different. It wasn’t. The only ppl there were ppl on dates or with friends and no one was picking up anyone. No one was talking to anyone that they didn’t come with. And this is the state of things these days. I don’t know how ppl are meeting each other.

Sitting there alone in my spaghetti strap little sundress I had time to observe the other couples. Seeing a guy come up to the bar to buy a glass of wine for his gf made think like awww. I miss that. I miss someone taking care of me bc they wanted to. Without a thought. Without question. Like of course babe whatever you want.

I really miss being take out for a special dinner. Having someone splurge on a nice place to celebrate something. Because they thought I deserve it. Not because of anything I did to earn it but just because I am their prize and they want to spoil me.

Part of that is me wanting something I never truly had. I’ve always been taken care of but….not treated like a prize. I do long for that. I’ll find it one day.

A while back I shortly dated a guy who offered to take me clothes shopping and told me I could go into any store and pick anything. I thought that was so kind. I looked around but never got anything. I’m not that type of person really. But the gesture alone was so sweet. It’s nice to know if I really really wanted something he would remember and maybe gift it to me one day.

Being single is mostly good. But it gets tiring doing things for myself. I feel like it’s more the gesture than anything. I wanna be the passenger princess. I wanna be taken out or fuck, pick me up some chicken nuggets and candy. My god, my hero 😍😍😍. It’s all about the gesture. The effort. Feeling special.

​I’m holding out for that